Konnektors! by Oyinkansola Alabi

If my friends! by Oyinkansola Alabi

If my friends have alabaster boxes laid away full of fragrant perfumes or sympathy and affection that they intend to break over my dead body, I would rather they would bring them in my weary and troubled hours and open them that I might be cheered and refreshed by them when I need them. I would rather have a plain coffin without a flower, a funeral without a eulogy, than a life without the fragrance of love and appreciation.

Make compliments and appreciation your lifestyle this year. Call Konnektors on 08037174741 anytime you want to say these three words. Thank you, Am sorry and I love you.

We have got what you need to leave your recipient speechless……

Say it before they are buried! By Oyinkansola Alabi

We should learn to prepare ourselves before for the burial.

Post mortem kindness does not cheer the burdened spirit, and flowers upon the coffin cast no fragrance over the dead.Therefore, if there is any kind thing you can say or any good thing you can do, do it now. Do not defer nor neglect it…

Appreciate your friends, colleagues, loved ones, family members, spouses in a different and special way this year. They deserve them now that they are still alive, not when they are dead and can’t hear your voice anymore, no matter how loud you scream and how much you spend.

Konnektors would help you go to any extent to reveal your heart to them in a very special way. Call 08037174741 anytime you fell like doing something creative and spine tingling. It may be their birthdays, vals day, anniversary, naming ceremony or any time you feel mushy and lovey dovey.

Every Couple Has Disputes… So What’s Next? ( Part 2) by Oyinkansola Alabi

The Bulldozer Mentality:
With these men and women, it’s simple; they are going to force their opinions or beliefs on their loved ones; whether they like it or agree with it or not. In their minds, if someone disagrees with them, THAT PERSON has a critical problem! Their belief is, “I am right and you are wrong,” end of story! With this posse, there is no negotiation or debate concerning his or her position. They refuse to see things in any other light if that perspective does not conclude with them being right.

The Microwave Mentality:
At the touch of a button these people heat up within nano-seconds! They enjoy going off on others and they pride themselves in berating, belittling and scalding loved ones with their jagged tongues. Men and women who observe these primitive creatures in action can only shake their heads in startled disbelief. The glaringly obvious truth is, no sane person should enter into a relationship or marriage with the microwave mentality type; they are simply too volatile and too explosive.

The Eye For An Eye Mentality:
Once they feel slighted, ignored, mistreated or wronged, whether imagined or real, be warned! They are going to get revenge even if it means, hurting or harming the man or woman in the mirror. For example, I had a couple in which the wife believed her husband was having an affair. He may have been, but instead of confirming her suspicions; she retaliated by having an affair of her own.

Their mantras are: “Two can play that game! You do it to me and I’ll do it to you! And, Love is a battlefield!” Of course, we all know the turbulent paths their relationships and marriages will travel down.

The Shoot First; Ask Questions Later Mentality:
Once they are involved in a disagreement or dispute, they shoot first and ask questions later; if they ask questions at all. The facts, mitigating circumstances and their mate’s opinions and feelings are almost always moot and irrelevant. Distressingly, these men and women have long track records of: hurting feelings, inflicting injury, driving away loved ones, ruining relationships and mauling marriages.

The Crock Pot Mentality:
Instead of addressing issues they feel are bothering them, they intentionally brood over things over an extended period of time. As the clock ticks away, they are progressively forming unforgiveness, rage, bitterness, resentment and anger. Then on one gloomy day of their choosing, they just detonate and explode! At that point their mates will suffer through unimaginable: anger, retaliation, unprovoked fights and sadly, undeserved separations and divorces.

The Blame Game Mentality:
They are wrong and they know it! But their deeply entrenched pride and massive egos won’t allow them to admit it. Do to their unimaginable refusal to confess when they are at fault, their only logical option is to blame any and everyone else and they do that very well! So well, that their irreprehensible conduct has produced innumerable wounds and prematurely terminated countless relationships and marriages.

The Truth Will Make You Free!
Did you find yourself in any of these descriptions? If so, are you willing to change your behaviors? If not, you can pretty much expect your love life to be filled with perpetual disappointments, emotional turmoil and gut wrenching heartbreaks. The bad news is, when two people are in love; disputes, differences of opinion and disagreements will occur.

The good news is; a couple doesn’t have to end it all by launching a catastrophic relationship war or by engaging in malicious marital combat. However, when either or both parties resort to using any of the aforementioned tactics, regrettably the casualties of love will mount.

Healthy unions that stand the test of time require a man and woman who subscribe to being lobbyists for love, effective communicators and committed peacemakers. For it is written, “Blessed are the peacemakers…”

From “Author & Teacher”

Every couple has disputes…so what’s next? by Oyinkansola Alabi

Any seasoned couple will tell you, “When it comes to love; friction and conflicts are inevitable. There’s no way around it. The ten million-dollar question is, “How do you handle relationship and marital conflict?” Before answering that question, carefully examine some of the more common ways men and women deal with challenges.

The History Buff:
No pun intended, but these men and women missed their calling! They are more suited working as agents in the parole revocation department. At a moments notice, they are able to recall with sobering exactness, every mistake, fault or mistake made by their loved ones. They can recite the precise time of incidents dating back 10 years or more.

When a disagreement arises, the history buff resorts to delivering an itemized detail list of a person’s past mistakes and wrongdoings. They’ll tell you what you were wearing, how you said and did what you said and did and most importantly, how you negatively impacted them.

The Cursing Kings and Queens:
Once they sense a conflict arising, they reduce themselves to hurling insults, berating others and firing off a barrage of offensive language and highly volatile curse words. Although their mouths resemble overflowing septic tanks, they have deceived themselves into believing that cursing at others gives them the ultimate in power and control. They masterfully use abusive words and disrespectful vocabulary as weapons to: warn, paralyze and intimidate others.

In their sorted minds, offensive language is the most effective method to communicate their displeasure or disagreement. The cursing kings and queens have a knack for alienating themselves from loved ones and creating unnecessary tension and hostilities. Browbeating, dispiriting and terrifying their mates are a way of life. Although this penal system mentality of communicating has proven disastrous, these cursing bandits are adamant about sticking to their guns.

The Master Manipulators:
With these individuals, getting their way is of prime importance. They are going to have their way even if it forces them to swear to their own hurt. Consequently, in order to gain the upper hand, they employ shrewd manipulative tactics such as: put downs, sarcasms, lording over the finances and withholding of intimacy and sex. This diabolical crew wantonly engages in emotional torture, verbal bashing, cruel mind games and other ill-conceived tactics designed to force, coerce, ridicule or pummel their spouse into agreement or submission.

The Master Manipulators:
With these individuals, getting their way is of prime importance. They are going to have their way even if it forces them to swear to their own hurt. Consequently, in order to gain the upper hand, they employ shrewd manipulative tactics such as: put downs, sarcasms, lording over the finances and withholding of intimacy and sex. This diabolical crew wantonly engages in emotional torture, verbal bashing, cruel mind games and other ill-conceived tactics designed to force, coerce, ridicule or pummel their spouse into agreement or submission.

please read this! by oyinkansola Alabi

I was once at a gathering where they asked an old man of about 78 years old to share his views on marriage since he had been married to his wife for more than 40 years. His reply was that he was still trying to understand his wife!
That was an eye opener for me. That means that when we come into that great institution called marriage, we must be ready to make sacrifices.
You can’t find a perfect woman, just as there is no perfect man anywhere. When people come into that institution, they must be ready to work on each other, believe in each other, make compromises when it is demanded and just work for the best in all situations.

Culled from an article by
Mr Ayo Arowolo

A lesson from the Lizard! by Oyinkansola Alabi

TRUE INSPIRING STORY.. WHEN
A LIZARD CAN, WHY CAN’T WE?.

This is a true story that happened in Japan.
In order to renovate the house,
someone in Japan breaks open the wall.
Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between
the wooden walls.
When tearing down the walls, he found that
there was a lizard stuck there
because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet.

He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail,
it was nailed 5 years ago when the house was first built !!!

What happened?

The lizard has survived in such position for 5 years!
In a dark wall partition for 5 years without moving,
it is impossible and mind-boggling.

Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 5 years!
without moving a single step–since its foot was nailed!
So he stopped his work and observed the lizard,
what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating.

Later, not knowing from where it came, appears another lizard,with food in its mouth.
Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply.
For the lizard that was stuck by nail,
another lizard has been feeding it for the past 5 years…

Imagine? it has been doing that untiringly for 5 long years,
without giving up hope on its partner.

Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can’t.

Please never abandon your loved ones.

Wife versus Husband by Oyinkansola Alabi

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man’s 15,000. The wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men… The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ‘What?’

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. ‘ The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, ‘You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.’ The husband said, ‘ You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.’ Wife replies, ‘No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.’ Husband replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’ So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says………..’HEBREWS’

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Romance thou art loosed! by Oyinkansola Alabi

We all relate to romance in two distinct ways. Some say that romance is the domain of the 16-year-olds, a realm where lust and infatuation run amok. After the initial flare of passion subsides, some couples contend that romance belong to the younger generation. They are adults now, and the time has come to get down to the business of raising a family, paying the bills and planning for the future.

While others believe that romance will always have it’s place. They still watch romantic movies, sigh deeply and dream of injecting a little bit of that chemistry back into their relationship.

My hunch is that both groups are partly right. Reality pulls all of us back to a pragmatic world.  Although bills must be made, P.T.A  meetings attended, and many other responsibilities we can’t silence the young girl or boy inside us who wants to be loved, cherished, and even adored.

Man (or woman) is the center of real RoMANce. It’s about sharing and giving of you. It’s a combination of all the little and big things you do to say “I love you” and to let someone know how special they are. What is most romantic comes from your heart and created by your hands, not from your wallet.

Make it a goal to being romantic all year round by starting today. Everyday is a potential day to do something special for the one you love.

  

 

Bad boys and the God who loves them! by Oyinkansola Alabi

In the New testament, a certain man had two sons; one of the two sons (the younger) came unto him and said “father give me my portion of goods and all that belongs to me” and the Bible says he divided unto them his living.
The prodigal son isn’t the star of the text, it is the everlasting, eternal, immutable, lover of the father that is the star of the text.
Who loves a rebellious, rejected, and wicked son who went into debauchery, chaos, confusion and spent all of his substance recklessly.
But despite all this, the father kept on peeping, hoping and waiting… not for his good son but for his wicked, “bad boy son” to come home.
Jesus is trying to make us understand that God’s love is so inclusive, encompassing, and Graceful. He sure has the tendency to pick out the most reckless, hard, ridiculous people to show himself strong.